Monday, August 13, 2007

DC Food Situation, Part II

An email went around the office late last week from one of the secretaries that the local buffet style lunch joint will be closing on the 24th. A resounding gasp filled the office.

Where are we supposed to eat, people? It is becoming increasingly clear to me that the District of Columbia does not want anyone to come in or out of the city, or exist while trapped in the city.

1. Metro: Just put out an announcement that they are not going to run trains on the weekends or evenings for those who wish to party in DC. They are considering buses. Imagine being drunk on a bus. Then imagine being on a bus after the concert, and then imagine drunks on the bus. I've seen drunks on the platforms and it's not pretty. But this is beyond ridiculous.

2. No one delivers except Pizza Hut (yawn) and A La Carte which charges $8 deliver if you order something under $15. So you have to get three or four of your co-workers to agree to order something to make it financially feasible.

3. Cheap food establishments are closing because their leases are up. Now where the hell am I going to go? We all know I'm not going to Cosi. I have not stepped foot in that joint since my last rant on the subject. I don't like Au Bon Pain. Too faux fancy and unsatisfying. I could walk to Tosca and drop $50 on lunch, but who wants to do that?? Subway is a block away, which I keep forgetting, but I hate their bread. The smell makes me nauseous.

All of these things tell me that visitors and commuters are not wanted. I believe the NYC subway system runs 24 hours (take it at your own peril). I know someone who was mugged at 3 am on the Chicago subway system (he was drunk and unwisely sitting on a car far away from the conductor--NEVER SIT ON A CAR ALONE, PEOPLE. Aside from that, this fellow generally did not have the best judgement ability to begin with). And I do believe I have partied on South Street in Philly and taken NJ Transit back home in the wee hours.

DC acts like an old lady. DC is the old lady of the United States. Nothing against old ladies. I plan on being one some day. But who the heck comes home at 1 am on a Saturday night (as far as serious partiers are concerned)?? The party's just getting started!

I used to party in Philly until 7 AM Saturday morning on some Friday nights. I would go out at 11 pm and close the bar, then check out an after hours club, which closed at three or four (or five...I don't remember) and then would go get breakfast at Denny's. Or hang at some friends' houses until the sun came up.

I guess conceivably, if you're going to do that, then it doesn't matter if Metro doesn't run after midnight.

Is it just me? Are we just unwanted? Orphans of the night? Doomed to take $50+ cab rides home? Doomed to find a designated driver and then struggle for the first two hours in the city to find a parking spot??

The only ones who are definitely wanted are the freakin' tourists! Cheap Metro fare, food all around the sightseeing areas. Everyone else are just a bunch of poor slobs, apparently.